Who Needs a Guard Gate Anyway?

milkI’ve been stuck at home all week with a sick 6 year old. Completely out of milk, I made a desperate dash to the store that erroneously included swinging by the Daisy Troop meeting to pick up a fundraiser order. Secretly that was just an excuse to make sure cookie order forms weren’t going home because…well…I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT I tell you.

Turns out I should have just stayed home.


There were almost casualties

guard gateAfter arriving at the clubhouse in a nearby gated community too early for the meeting, I decided to run to the grocery store first. In my defense it was dark and I’d completely forgotten about the guard gate. Slamming on my breaks as hard as I could, I knew it wasn’t going to stop in time and I was going to crash right into it. Visions of previous cars I’ve owned flashed before my eyes.

Braced for impact, I couldn’t believe the gate lifted out of the way at the very last possible millisecond. It still doesn’t seem possible and can only be courtesy of a Festivus Miracle.

Twenty minutes later I returned for the meeting and was nervous about checking in at the guard house. “What if he recognizes me as the nut that had just zoomed by earlier?”

I contemplated changing my name and wearing my shades, but he said nothing which just proves they will let any maniac in.

Lucky Winner

My plan was to grab my order and quickly return home before my frozen foods thaw.

Sneaking into the meeting, I made my way over to where the girls were busily watering 9 tiny potted plants. I had arrived just in time for the drawing determining which girl would take these home for 2 weeks and care for them. Can you guess who the lucky winner was?

daisy plant project

This picture is less about showing you what I'm in charge of and more about remembering what they looked like in case I need to replace them.

“Oh…I kill plastic plants. Are you sure?” I nervously mentioned as I accepted this honor. The troop leader laughed and asked if they should redraw a name.

“No no that’s OK. I’ll set the alarm on my iPhone to remember.”

After going over some camping paperwork, the discussion turned to cookies. It began with my excitedly asking, “When do cookie order forms go out?” and ended with me being “Cookie Mom”. Only after receiving this title did I learn about the four weekends of booth duty. I seriously don’t know what happened…I was in a volunteer-spirit-induced stupor and said “I’ll do it.” It came spilling out before I had time to rethink that commitment. I mean think.

With melting groceries waiting in my car, I waited 10 more minutes while the girls made my daughter get well cards.

What I got:

Responsibility for the plants, 10 sticky get well cards covered in glitter glue, the title of “Cookie Mom”, and melting groceries.

What I didn’t get?

The two things I went out for of course. The fundraiser order wasn’t at the meeting and the milk had a giant leak by the time it arrived at the refrigerator.

Ever wished you’d just stayed home because nothing went right?


  1. Oh wow that sounds like something that would happen to me. I often find myself going to the grocery store for one or two things, spending $100 and forgetting one or both things I went there for to begin with. Ugh.

  2. Cristian Balau says:

    Well that’s why I prefer to go out on a need to do bases. Otherwise I won’t move my ass from home unless its an emergency. But what ever, I work from home, I’m allowed to stay in as much as I want.

  3. Oh I know exactly what you mean, so often I’ll set out to do something, it could be work or just some things that I need to do, but I’ll never get them done, it’s far far to easy to just get distracted these days!
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  4. Melinda, I love your ability to laugh at yourself. It makes me laugh too. (Not at you, but with you, I swear.)

    I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award! If you’re not sure what that means, you can read about it here:

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  5. What a funny story…sorry…I can’t stop smiling. πŸ™‚ I can so see the face of the guard in front of me. Was it him that has such good reaction skills or was it an automatic gate? You should check next time you go there :).
    Usually I can “feel” when I am not supposed to go out a day, but I go anyway, and everything turns into disaster of course. But I am prepared at least :).
    Virag – Escapist Mom recently posted..For lack of motivation in being motivated, my New Year’s pledge is to try to find motivationMy Profile

  6. Mitchell Allen

    Well bad things happen when I venture to Roanoke, VA. Other than that, leaving home is always a fun-filled misadventure of wrong turns, mysterious pinging sounds and wafting roadkill aromas.

    Seriously, we have a saying: “It’s not a trip without a daddy adventure.” If you look up that phrase which ends “…with two hands and a flashlight.” you guessed it, I’m the poster child.

    The most recent mishap came after an evening of bowling in a nearby village (LOL there are no villages in Virginia, it just sounds better.) We stopped at an inn called Burger King and ordered savory sandwiches, potatoes cooked in oil and frozen sweet milk treats.

    Returning to the coach, we traveled some distance to a fork in the road and, like the famous poet, I stupidly took the road less traveled. It took me ten minutes to figure out WHY it was the road less traveled.

    Suffice to say, the leaking milk you suffered is comparable to the sodden mass of barely edible supper from this Burger King.



    • Allan Douglas

      I know a fellow who lives (currently) in Roanoke VA, Mitch, and he agrees with you – bad things happen to him there too. When he can get away life is better. I only know the two of you so it’s not enough to produce a statistical probability chart, but it’s intriguing. πŸ™‚

    • LOL you and your choice of words. Village sounds so nice doesn’t it.

  7. Allan Douglas

    Will you get a “Cookie Mom” badge for your sash? They probably don’t have a badge for “Gate crashing plant mangler” do they? But then, you haven’t mangled the plants yet… there is hope.

    • The plants survived and I was disappointed that I didn’t earn a badge for not killing them. Advanced Gardening is what I imagined. I did get a badge for showing up to the cookie meeting where they confuse you with 100 pages of stuff. Just sell cookies. I could explain that in 1 sentence. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the patch, but the 6 year old is jealous. πŸ™‚

  8. Melinda, that is why I usually stay home in the first place! Great story and as usual funny. Happy New year!
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  9. Hi Melinda,
    You are so funny. During the time I was raising my children, I think I ran into the same type situations that you describe and it totally tickles me to death to read about it. My child rearing years were really just a comedy of errors, spills, all sorts of breakage and a lot of kid panic. But they did survive and are basically productive members of society. So when they start in about some wayward time, I do remind them of that fact! Thanks for sharing your stories. I love ’em!
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  10. This is why I try not to leave the house. It’s also why I’ve told my children that cereal tastes better with water. That’s the problem with commercials…all the rich folk pouring milk on their cereal flakes makes us look bad.

    You seem to be a “never say no” person as well. I think this personality trait makes life twice as busy for us.
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    • Yes I have a problem saying NO. The excitement of the cookies had me in a temporary virtual sugar rush. I raised my hand at the cookie training meeting and asked “How do you keep the teens in the house from stealing a box of cookies when there are 1000s just sitting in the living room tempting them?” I don’t think she ever got that question before. I’m rewriting the role of Cookie Mom.