Foods From Around the Fridge | An Epicurean Tale


Is epicurean an adjective? If not I’m using poetic license to declare it one because I just like saying it and it sounds fancy.

When avoiding the grocery store for too long has caused a state of emergency in the kitchen, I turn to the obvious solution: breakfast for dinner. This allows me to put off the trip for…one…more…day.

Living life on the wild side like this on a daily basis, I’m practically uninsurable.

Last night as I intended to whip up some eggs, pancakes, sausage and toast, I realized we were out of sugar, flour, and even bread. With very little to work with, I was up to the challenge.

Desperate times call for culinary spin doctors, and the breakfast buffet was quickly renamed and recreated.

The “Foods From Around The Frig” Buffet was born.

***dramatic pause for applause***
I’d like to embellish the experience and describe it as the equivalent of traveling the world tasting different cultural delights without the hassle of leaving your home, only it’s more of an epicurean nightmare.

The initial buffet offers were the result of the failed breakfast attempt:

  • 4 scrambled eggs – not enough to feed everyone but enough to start a war
  • 8 links of sausage – of course plenty of what no one wants
  • no bread – FAIL
  • 1 bagel
  • orange slices – bonus points for healthy fruit!

Desperate to fill in the holes, I scoured for ANYTHING to add to the feast and disguise my lack of preparedness. Digging through the pantry and the back of the refrigerator, I found these:

  • 1 cup of wilted lettuce
  • 1/16 bottle of ketchup – I don’t know what that’s for but it was a space filler and made the buffet look fancier
  • 2 Jello cups
  • 3 cheese sticks
  • 1 sleeve of Ritz crackers – slightly crushed
  • 2 slices of cheese – in their last moments of survival due to the fact that someone didn’t seal the package
  • A jar of sliced black olives
  • 1 can of chili

Bracing for the comments I was sure to receive and the 100th recommendation by my son to please go to the store before he suffers further chip withdraw, the kids appeared. I proudly motioned toward the result of my tireless efforts.

Welcome to “Foods From Around The Frig” brought to you by Tired Mom Creations

They took one look, announced “Ummm…I’m not hungry”, and left. Can you blame them?

I think I’m allergic to the grocery store.

Feel free to contact my assistant for advanced dinner reservations for Friday night. They’re going to go fast!




UPDATE 5-5-2011: Thanks to Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People for featuring me on her blog today. If I knew I was going to have visitors I would have cleaned the house and put on some make up. It’s like TV cameras showing up at your house, and you are in PJs and sporting a bed head hairdo. She is a hoot! Check out her post Never Act Irresponsibly In Front of Family Members.

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Comments

  1. Pouncing Turtle says:

    If nobody eats it then more for me!! lol
    I’m also allergic to the grocery store.

  2. Hi, Melinda:

    I’ve been subscribing to your blog for awhile now, and you always make me laugh.

    I can’t comment when I read from my phone, but I read your posts when they come in my inbox.

    I do a weekly Thursday feature called “bring the funny? she can.”

    I’m going to feature you this week. I do a write up on you, and then

    I close comments on my blog, and direct traffic to your blog.

    I’m so happy to have come across you, I love my humor bloggers!

  3. Omg if I’d known royalty was stopping by I would have gone to the grocery store…and mopped the floor.

    I love your blog! I have it on my must read list now. Thanks so much for the kind words and the mention. I’m honored!!

    • The Empress has never steered us wrong! Lots of fun going on over here-and the lemons make it seem all spic and span so no worries!

  4. Hi Melinda

    Being a super-organised person I just shake my head and laugh so loudly at your chaotic charm and wonderfully funny posts :-)

    And try to imagine your children facing the “feast” you have prepared and declaring they are not hungry LOL

    Too funny. But thanks once again. I’m leaving with a smile on my face….as always ;-)

    Patricia Perth Australia
    Patricia recently posted..Alexa- have I upset or offended you!My Profile

  5. By request of The Empress, I am stopping by.
    All I can say is, I would have gladly eaten all 8 links of sausages. What’s wrong with those people.
    Your Friend, m.
    Mark recently posted..Aprils Photo DumpMy Profile

  6. Alexandra’s right – you *do* bring the funny!
    Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..6 Dreams for My Daughter The One I’ve Yet To PurchaseMy Profile

  7. haha you might as well have been around my house about 48 hours ago…thanks for the cuckles…empress sent me…
    brian recently posted..hell- i dont knowMy Profile

  8. After all that thought, angst and the potential peril of climbing all the way into the back of the refrigerator (never know what you’ll meet back there) they abandoned you?!
    How ungrateful!
    How Rude!
    How like a friend of my wife who will go to great effort to fix “dinner” for her family (last recounting was baked potatoes and creamed corn – that’s all, just these) who then start placing orders like she’s a short order cook. “I’ll have a bowl of noodles, Mom”, “I just want a PBJ.”, “Make me a grilled cheese sandwich.” While hubby sits in the living room watching TV and munching on a box or Ritz crackers instead of eating with the family.

    As for me, I came from the old school of culinary experience, which was generally expressed as something like this: “You will sit here, young man, until you have eaten everything on your plate… I don’t care if it IS still moving.”
    Allan Douglas recently posted..Dealing with the Speed-Bumps in LifeMy Profile

    • I grew up in that school, too, though I don’t remember anything moving ha ha. My mom was also an awesome cook. Even I didn’t want to eat the above dinner. :)

      Yikes…no short order cook here. 80% of the time it is a decent dinner and that’s all I can promise. They all take 3 bites and are done. I’m basically cooking for myself.

  9. Personally, I don’t think you should ever apologize for Breakfast for Dinner. Who doesn’t love BfD?? Crazy folk, that’s who.

    I can’t believe they didn’t even want a jello cup. They don’t know good food when they see it!

    (Found you over at GDRP. Love your blog and am following you now.)

  10. I Love It! We have kindred kitchen styles. I Only cook breakfast if it’s for dinner and once a week we have “eat what you find night”. Always an adventure. Came thru the Empress, very pleased to meet you : )
    Motpg recently posted..TO-i didnt call my mom and came home at 4-30 am i groundedMy Profile

  11. Congrats on being featured by the Empress! Her magic wand can make anything possible.

    And this dinner scenario was great. It’s so nice to hear I’m not the only one to live by the seat of my half-empty ketchup bottle. Speaking of which, what the HELL are we going to have for dinner tonight? Sigh. The battle never ends.

  12. What a happy-making blog you have! I totally identify with this post, because we just moved, and I have none of the basics in my cupboards, even though it feels like I’ve been shopping every day this week…sigh…
    parentingadabsurdum recently posted..I’m the worst mom I’m the best momMy Profile

  13. I actually like breakfast foods better at dinnertime. If only I could convince the rest of the family! The grocery store irritates me, too and sometimes I will delay going until I have no choice…when we are out of toilet paper! LOL

    Black olives? Yum! I’d like to make a reservation. That’s good enough for me!
    Jessica Sieghart recently posted..Without A PeepMy Profile

  14. This reminds me of a few night in college when I had neglected to go shopping and by the time I stopped doing homework for a minute to get food the caf was closed. I think my buffet was popcorn, stale crackers and a roll of lifesavers. Your meal sounds way better than what I came up with!
    Saber recently posted..Photographing spring- when nature is buzzing with lifeMy Profile

  15. OH, don’t mess with make-up. You look beautiful just the way you are! You have really got me craving a snack of crushed Ritz and olives. How did you do that? Your epicurean tastes are really rubbing off on me!

    Off to GDRPempress’s place!

  16. Oh yea … I love breakfast for dinner. And like you, I’ve also experienced the rejection when the kids don’t want to eat it. Usually it’s from the two teenaged boys. They’ll ask “what’s for dinner?” and if the answer is not acceptable, I’m treated to a quick scowl before they turn around to dig up a poptart or some cereal :-)
    Todd Morris recently posted..Not Driving DrunkMy Profile

  17. I love breakfast for dinner. It’s a weird kind of psychological ruse where we are tricking ourselves that we don’t have to make “dinner.” Because making dinner sucks, it’s my nemesis! But it’s totally okay for me to make breakfast, right? I don’t know why it works like that, I would think that the idea of cooking at all is what makes me cringe, but I’m totally happy to cook the breakfast food, it’s just the idea of dinner that makes me want to stop dead in my tracks (and gives me nightmares too). So I’d much rather call it breakfast and feel better about the whole thing. Why is making dinner so horrible???

    I usually do blueberry pancakes (gotta have some fruit in there so I don’t feel guilty that it’s really just flour, water, butter and syrup/sugar for dinner) or blueberry waffles (same as previous) or maybe omelets (if I’m feeling adventurous) when I do breakfast for dinner.

    Great post by the way : )
    Keshyra recently posted..Girls Night OutMy Profile

  18. I would say, it is good to have a change, and from what i gather, the feast does not sounds that bad… the lack of bread is understandable, but the rest of the preparation was pretty much good.

    I would never declare that am not hungry in front of my mother, she would be very angry if i do so lol,

    Hate the grocery store myself, they should send those things right at the house themselves, but yes, food from around the fridge, that happens to me during the midnight food hunt most of the time,
    Uttoran Sen recently posted..10 Tips To Overcome DepressionMy Profile

  19. Hi Melinda,
    Your story here brings back memories when my mom used to serve breakfast for dinner. Well, instead of ignoring it and munching on other snacks or food, I remember that we actually look forward to it! It’s because she usually serves yummy fried rice, scrambled eggs, pork dumplings and of course, ketchup! Would you believe all of those came from leftovers? (except the ketchup, of course) :)
    Felicia recently posted..Worst Bad Beat in WSOP historyMy Profile

  20. I must have been another of those non-appreciative kids, because I can remember my mother saying on several occasions that we needed “three days without eating.” In other words, after three days with no food, we’d be grateful for just about anything. But really, I don’t think the meal you whipped together was so terrible. I’d have eaten the Jell-O. Definitely.
    Charles Gulotta recently posted..When I’m in Charge Part 1- Why We Need Rubber CarsMy Profile

  21. My mom lived on that! You should really think about writing a book about possible around the fridge creations you can come up with. I’m thinking it would be a NY Times Best Seller. I mean, what Mom has time to actually grocery shop in a store that is way too much for anyone to handle?

  22. I hate going to the grocery store as well – there’s always a large family walking in front of me very slowly no matter which aisle I take, it’s unbearable. I’m one of those “makes a list, gets what I need, in-and-out” type of shoppers. Grocery stores are the devil.
    Cherlyn recently posted..Autumn’s FavouriteMy Profile

  23. There are times that it’s pretty hard to please kids! My mom was so lucky that me and my siblings haven’t been a kid like that before! Unless the food tasted so terrible! lol But other than that, we are all at peace!
    Christina recently posted..Little Tikes 6-In-1 Town Center Playhouse Review – Walls Open For Added FunMy Profile

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