Silent lecturing.

Tired of uselessly lecturing the kids about the mess in the bathroom, I decided a silent protest in the form of a memo taped to the mirror of the bathroom was the solution. It worked…for while, and it went something like this:

Ways to avoid the wrath of Mom

• Keep the water in the shower. Try taking the towel with you before you take the shower and are soaking wet…this is both helpful and recommended. If you feel the need to get water on the floor, then by all means grab the mop and clean away.




• Flush the toilet. No one claims to be responsible for this…but I know who you are.




• When you are selecting a towel from the closet, try to avoid knocking the entire stack down in the process.When you have all the towels in a jumbled mess in the floor, you are ruining the aesthetics of the bathroom that I painstakingly painted and decorated. It takes no extra time to HOLD the stack with one hand while selecting the top towel. Use the top towel – they all work the same.




• Dirty clothes go in the laundry room, not the floor. It is directly across from this room, it should only take an extra second or two out of your day. It’s so close you can actually toss them from the doorway, but you had better make the shot.




• Clean up the counter and return all items back to your drawer. I’m not naming names, but some people in this house don’t care whose toothbrush they pick up and use, so protect your items. You have been warned.




• The toilet paper roll holder is not a complicated device. If you seriously do not know how to change the empty roll, please see me so we can schedule a training and demonstration session. I charge $10 per class, so it’s in your best interest to try to figure it out yourself.

Leave the bathroom neat, and you will not hear from me.

If you enjoy my lectures, break one of the above rules, or I can make you a “Greatest Hits” tape of them for $29.95. I will even autograph it for no extra charge.

I love you,
Mom, that woman that you mistakenly took for the maid