What I could have done with $900

Gucci bagOver the past three months, my dog has cost me a grand total of $900. Is he worth it? I’m still thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the dog. You do, however, have to understand that I was outvoted on adding him to the family. We have the world’s only non-barking Sheltie. I think that’s because when he arrived, my daughter was still taking naps. I may have said “No barking!” to him 1000 times, so that could be my fault.

He did spring into action a few times when wild animals were outside the window. Standing in military-like attention and with great urgency he barked as a harmless armadillo wandered into the porch. However, his wild animal notification skills proved to be useless when it comes to watching the INSIDE of the house. A mouse ran free for months, and he slept through three snake incidents.

The latest expense was for removing a bad tooth and a dental cleaning. A dental cleaning, by the way, is about $300 for a dog and about $90 for a child. After realizing I couldn’t just throw a baseball cap on him and take him to the kids’ dentist, I gave in.

I was just thinking about what I would have rather spent $900 on:

  • 1) Trip to the beach with the kids
  • 2) A new TV
  • 3) The Gucci bag I drool over in Nordstrom’s while window shopping in the “I can’t afford to even look at that” section.
  • 4) A trip for 4 to Universal Studios to see the new Harry Potter world
  • 5) 5 trips to the salon to aid in the denial that I have any grey hair
  • 6) A cool wooden castle fort with a slide for my four year old

Instead, for $900 I got his extracted tooth…in a clear sandwich baggie.

The vet handed me the molar, and the girls let out an “Ewww” in a way that was half “GROSS!” and half “COOOOL!” The technician said we might want to put it under his pillow in case the tooth fairy came to visit. My eldest daughter questioned, “What would he do with $2?” Well for starters he could start paying off that $900 tab. Let’s hope the tooth fairy is feeling generous.


$900 dog

After steering what appeared to be our $900 drunk dog, still half under anesthesia, to the car, he looked very cute as he was passed out in my daughter’s lap. Maybe he is worth it after all.

As expected, a fight ensued over who got to hold the bloody tooth on the way home.

I’ve decided to bronze the tooth and mount it.

It’s going to look fabulous on the entertainment center where the new TV would have gone.


  1. Great Job. I know your humor would come in handy.
    Thanks for sharing.

  2. You are too funny!!!! I know the pain of two very expensive dogs between one having panic seizures and the other throw up what ever he ingests or meds for fighting the feral cat on our walks we have spent thousands. Would I like to trade them (sometimes but then again I’d like to trade my kids in sometimes too) ….would I ever trade them in??? NEVER!! Too much uncondtional love!

  3. Melissa Abbey says:

    I feel your pain girlfriend! Particularly with the “I can’t even afford to look” LOL! That’s how I feel everywhere I shop! 🙁

  4. HA HA…Look at that look he gave me when I tried to take his picture. Think he read this post and isn’t amuzed?

  5. Mary Ann Borden says:

    Loved it! I understand totally. Did I ever tell you we have become a family of 3 Shelties!!!

  6. OMG, Hilarious!
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  7. A trip for 4 to Universal Studios to see the new Harry Potter world only costs $900?? 🙂

    Seriously, I think every pet owner has these type of stories to share. Ours was with our pet Zeussie the cat. He was having those “stones” (cat owners nod knowingly) and it’s always a “life or death” situation taking him to the vet, usually during weekends, holidays or other times when prices are double. The third time this happened we decided to do the surgery option .. turning Zeussie the Manly Cat into well…you know! lol. He was a little miffed (which male wouldn’t be miffed if they chopped off your ..) // well,. he’s never had the stones, much healthier and no exhorbant vet bills since. (each of the first 2 times – $1k)
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  8. Hello Melinda,
    I love this blog so much and the content is very good!

    I must tell you that this humor blog will make a great success because humor blogs are very common now and only few people do have them.

    Keep rocking and keep up the great work!
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  9. Dogs are like that aren’t they! You love them like one of the family, but they sometimes get expensive to keep.

    We are looking after a “giant” German Shepherd right now, and he sheds hair all year round.
    My wife brushes him every day, and “half a sheep” of wool comes out.

    Got to love them though…
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  10. That mounted tooth will live on for generations to come… its worth $900!
    Funny post Melinda… enjoyed it! 🙂
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  11. Oh it’s nice to see you can inject humor into the situation. I can relate to what your talking about. I’ve had dealt with the same issue with one of my dogs and a ferret I had. I couldn’t believe their vet bill was so high, I love our pets but wasn’t so fond of the vet bills, lol.
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  12. Oh Wow!!!

    Just wait till you have to purchase some doggy dentures…let us know…braaawwhaaa
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    • AGH! Doggy dentures!! Well he is in his “advanced” years. I say that because he doesn’t even get out of the way anymore and we trip over him. Like he assumes we would know where his relaxing “spot” is now after eight years.

      No problem. I will have the girls make a Play Dough mold since they are the experts. I’m sure we can create some dentures from something that has been hardening in the back of the refrigerator. 🙂

  13. OUCH! I’ve always heard that pets were expensive but that is ludicrous! From reading this, it would seem taking care of a child would be less expensive then a dog lol.

    I guess my little puppy will have to wait til I’m rich. Sorry guy.
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    • LOL the expenses do add up. Let me see…how many $5 jobs would I have to do to pay off the $900? (referring to your blog article) ha ha ha….a lot. Maybe I can offer my dog to hold up a sign with a name on it for $5, but I bet that doesn’t go over as well as Buzz Lightyear.

  14. Well I hope the dog isn’t feeling too ruff and not driving you barking mad. 🙂
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  15. Please, do NOT get me started with my dog and the vet stories! In the past two years Junior has received much better care than I have and unfortunately, I’m telling the truth.

    I remember one night after work and noticing his eye, my sweet pooch doesn’t have thumbs or fingers so he rubbed and rubbed until the layer that protected his cornea was gone. Thank God, the bill wasn’t $900 but it was close enough! Now his eyesight is better than mine.

    I admit, he’s worth it too. 😉
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  16. Beautiful dog. It’s crazy what they charge for pets. Sometimes I think my dogs need pet insurance. lol

  17. Now that is too funny! And 2 dollars! Wow the tooth fairy has gotten might generous, I remember I only got a quarter…….I think.

    Great looking dog! I suppose my dental appointment to get a tooth extracted next week will cost a fortune…..thanks for reminding me…..LOL
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  18. Oh boy. We have a dog and a cat with equally expensive needs. I think they cost more thant the kids do. 🙂
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  19. I’m new to your blog site and I am having fun reading your article already! I can totally relate to your dilemma when it comes to vet costs. I got a cold a few days ago and my medicine just cost me US$4 (I live in Asia). Our family’s pet dog got a rash on her tail and she has been licking it like crazy and it got infected. Her total vet bill was $45! But of course, we paid for it because she’s part of the family. I just wish vet bills aren’t very costly. I think they are just taking advantage of us just because we love our pets enough to spend on them. I’m going to visit your site next time..I’ve been looking for dofollow blogs like yours which shows the lighter side of life.
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  20. Ahh very funny.
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  21. OMG, you are too, too funny! Let’s think about this though, it’s much riskier to be a Doggie Dentist that a Kiddie Dentist. Just imagine – dealing with the bad breath alone is worth every penny of the $900.

    I agree that the dog should have his own bank account and maybe he didn’t bother with the mouse because he isn’t getting an allowance. I bet he doesn’t clean up after himself either…

    I LUV this blog Melinda.
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  22. “After realizing I couldn’t just throw a baseball cap on him and take him to the kids’ dentist, I gave in.”

    I’m rolling on the floor and my sides hurt. I might not be able to do a thing for the rest of the day after reading this line. Thanks Melinda!
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  23. Wow, that too much. You could use that amount to most necessarily things. Well, it’s relative since many people love pets. However, it is ironic since many people who can even have this amount of money til the rest of their lives.
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  24. This is a funny post. I ‘like’ animals but not that much. I’m even planning a post on a show I just started watching, Whale Wars. Medical costs are outrageous for animals and humans alike.

    I wanted to thank you for commenting on my site and let you know that I have been enjoying yours.
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    • Thanks! I think my daughter is going to be a vet..if I count all the wild animals she has attempted to turn into a pet I have no idea what number we would be up to. I said no to the snake…this is where I draw a firm line. Her lizard is too snake-like to me…but I tolerate it..from the other side of the room.

  25. Dogs are very special in my sight and in your also. I’m sure you spend a lot of money for your dog and that was nice.

  26. Well, the joy of having animals in your house is more than the worth of $900. He can be your bodyguard while you’re strolling around your area or be your exercise buddy, play games with him. I bet you’ll maintain your healthy body if both of you run together.
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  27. $900.00 would get my latest project finished, and then some. We have a cat. He started out at $235.00 dollars take home cost. He’s since passed the $1500 mark and just hit his first birthday. I haven’t tallied the costs in household damages from ill performed jumps onto table and counters. The glass candle holders were christmas gifts and irreplaceable. The hours taken off my life by 2:00 am ambushes from under the couch as I walk in the dark to the kitchen for a late drink are impossible to put a value on.

    I don’t like cats.


    • LOL! You crack me up! Taking the hours off your life..ha ha. I’m not a fan of cats. Mostly because I already have 3 kids that kill my vacuum cleaner every 6 mos, and I’m sure cat hair would cut that in half. Mentally I couldn’t handle my vacuum dying twice as much..2 hours before company, which is the only time it decides to retire.

  28. Hilarious post Melinda :)) I’m inspired by your attitude and take on life and incidents
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  29. OMG. Tomorrow I am going to signup for some veterinarians courses online and move to your town 🙂 How did they come up with these prices? Is unbelievable..

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  30. You think that’s bad? My mom just took our little Cocker Spaniel in the other week, and they ended up having to extract 8 teeth! Luckily we have the brat insured, because it was upwards of 3K otherwise!
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  31. We have two dogs – I feel your pain.

  32. Ouch! That hurts, $900 dollars my goodness. Well. I would say that it takes a lot of positive outlook on life to carry on with such humor and I find it here. Your blog writing is excellent. Lovely humor! Very inspiring way to write! You do stick to your slogan ‘Laugh at the lemons that life throws at you’

  33. Melinda,

    You’re my kind of gal (and mom and pet owner)! I tell everyone the most valuable asset in life is a sense of humor … not that anyone listens to me … certainly not my children. They don’t seem to appreciate my humor. 🙂

    I’m a single mom with four daughters, including a set of twins, and we have two four-legged furry family members. They look like dogs and bark like dogs but they act like British royalty. I’ll spare you the details.

    Thank goodness one of my twins plans to become a veterinarian! There is a God. 🙂

    Fabulous writing — thoroughly enjoyed your post!
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  34. Having just spent $800 on my cat I can really relate. Funny stuff.

  35. When ya sit back and realize how much money we do spend on our pets, it’s a little sad. BUT, you have to think like they ARE a member of the family and you would never say “Why did I spend $2000 on my son’s root canal when I could have used that for a car”. Your dog is gorgeous and just think that the money is going towards something you love, but never talks back 😉 So how does the bronzed tooth look?

  36. Ouch – $900 *is* a lot of money, but just think of all of the fun memories you have with your dog!! I’d take a fun time with my puppy Rufus over a new TV any day. 😉

  37. For a stressed blogger like me this is the kind of post I need to read.. it makes smile or better yet LOL!:-)Thanks!
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  38. Sally Thompson says:

    That is a lot of money that you just spent! Thanks for sharing your experience.. I enjoyed reading your article..
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  39. Lucky dog! $900 worth of expenses to keep him healthy is something. With that amount, I could buy additional gadget for myself! LOL Well, looks like he’s really a part of your family. You have his tooth anyway as a remembrance of your $900! LOL

  40. Maddison McKenzie says:

    Hi Melinda,

    Your blog is awesome and your dog is just too cute. I always love dogs because they are always loyal to their owners but you have spent $900? My jaws just dropped. LOL!
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  41. Melinda, I considered getting my dog an HMO card but he has another problem: no pockets! The little rascal is now worth his weight in platinum.
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  42. Michael Brown says:

    When you want to buy good breed dog it is exactly cost very expensive but then it is worth it. I love your dog, he is worthy to be bought. Gorgeous, love it!
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  43. Hi Melinda,
    You’re one of those who care about what you have. So you are willing to spend $900 for your beloved dog .. I am very inspired to you other than of your high sense of humor.
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  44. I can relate.

    We named our dog Harmony – when actually it should have been HONEYMOON – because that is what we gave up to purchase her.

    Now, anytime I am tired, or a little miffed at something hubby has done… I look at my HONEYMOON and she licks my face relentlessly- which is slightly more than my hubby does – after 4 years of marriage.

    So glad to find your blog Melinda. 🙂
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  45. You got a really valuable doggy there 😀 Great post Melinda really enjoyed reading it!
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  46. What will $900 not buy? A life long friend that will remain by your side and love you unconditionally:) Your dog will.

  47. Aw your dog is so cute! I’ve always wanted a Sheltie! $900 for a tooth is ridiculous though!

  48. definitely i will go for Bull mastiff the best beast around lol
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  49. You are a beautiful Mom and a great person as well. I have read some of your other posts also I liked your writings and humor. Good Job Melinda!!
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