Sure they look cute
Looks are deceiving. As if having one sock monkey wasn’t bad enough, now there are three. It’s my fault. I brought these monkeys to life with their own muppet-type voice and personalities, and they are now my daughter’s favorite playmates. Each night for two hours, I am tortured by having to “be” these monkeys. I wonder how Jim Henson did it for so long. I was over it after a month.
My teens walk by me with a “I feel sorry for you” look.
Imagination creates the most fun
It is funny how stuffed animals can seem so real to a kid. I can remember thinking the same thing about my animals when I was little. Even after you are older and rationally aware they are just a stuffed toy, it is still hard not to see them as real and an important part of your life. At least 3 went to my dorm room with me, and it took many years to get rid of them completely. They were furless by then due to the Velveteen Rabbit effect. That is one of my favorite books, and it always makes me cry.
For the Skin Horse made the Velveteen Rabbit aware that “…but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
For some reason I was reminded of when my other daughter was little and had not one, but a whole gang of imaginary friends. You couldn’t sit anywhere in the house without hurting one. Then came the decision of who to invite to her birthday party. When the entire list consisted of the invisible crew, I didn’t know what to do. At least they don’t eat anything and don’t require treat bags…right? Hmm…I’m picturing the sock monkey trio sitting around the table at the next birthday party.
This Monkey Dilemma has left me with no other choice but to orchestrate a Ransom of Red Chief type kidnapping scheme for my own sanity. I’m not paying for their return.
Sock Monkey Games
My daughter loves the games she plays at preschool so much, that she insists on playing them at home. Since there are no other preschoolers running around the house, that leaves the sock monkey trio to fill in. These are the games I’m sick of:
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Sock Monkey Hide and Go Seek
This is where I play the role of sock monkey and we take turns counting and hiding. We ran out of hiding spots after day one, so I have to pretend to not know where she is hiding. Sock Monkey is so “alive” in her mind that she will whisper her hiding place to me and tell me not to tell him.
After putting my foot down and refusing to play this game anymore, she introduced a new game called “Three Blind Mice” which is…you guessed it…Hide and Go Seek with 3 people, so now I’m TWO sock monkeys. I totally fell into that trap.
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The BubbleGum Game
This is like playing eeny meeny miny mo. Everyone sits in a circle and puts their feet in the middle. The person in charge of counting is called “The Bubblegummer”. The Bubblegummer goes around the circle saying the following:
Bubble gum Bubble gum in a dish
How many pieces do you wish?The selected person answers a number, and the bubblegummer counts. The leg it lands on is “out”. The sock monkeys hate being the “bubblegummer” so they tend to purposely lose the game. They are pretty good at math.
I’m hearing this chant in my sock monkey nightmares now.
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Phone Game
This consists of Sock Monkey stealing her plastic Princess phone and pulling pranks like ordering 100 pizzas or calling her to pretend he is Justin Bieber. I was out of ideas three weeks ago.
Decision Making
I know why the Bubble Gum game is so popular. Five-year-olds base every major decision on the result of eeny meeny miny mo. We were at Target tonight so she could spend her gift card on a Barbie.
A year ago this trip would have taken several hours with an indecisive four-year-old. Walking up and down the Barbie isle they make a selection, then see a better choice, and then repeat the process no less than 1000 times. It is as if this is the only toy they will ever own and they have to get it right. Oh the pressure! A parent waiting room should be located at the end of the Barbie aisle with a nice comfy couch.
Then they turn five and the decision process is shortened to the time it takes to say the eeny meeny miny mo phrase. We were out of there in less than 3 minutes.
Each night I hear “Be Sock Monkey” from my little darling and dread overcomes me. I’ve tried to introduce new games, but she loves these three too much.
Faced with three choices: (monkeynapping, throw them away, or hide them), I did the only thing I could do to pick one – a quick game of eeny meeny miny mo.
Hi Melinda,
Thanks!
What a nice post you have here! Your daughter sure has a lot of games, but it sure is quite tiring if all her playmates are imaginary and you’re dragged into it too
Very cute sock monkeys!
Oh, the eeny meeny miny mo – in the end, you also decided by using that random picking method, very funny!
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Thanks…yes I am trying to figure out how to get out of this mess.
We made sock puppets which meant they were not stuffed and had no arms or legs. Button eyes and noses,mop and broom hair, cardboard ears. We put on the Pied Piper in the cafeteria at Benjamin Franklin for the whole school and parents. We were 10. It was 1959. I was the Pied Piper. It was my first and last attempt at acting. Sock puppets are very useful today. You ram them down the throats of people that won’t shut up. Do not do this in front of the children in case the jerk chokes to death(which in itself is the actual motive behind the act).
Twitter: findingthehumor
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Ha ha I bet that was cute. I love when the kids create puppets and put on a show.
This post made me laugh because I was in the same situation, but not with sock monkeys. I always used to talk to my son in crazy accents, and there was a time where he couldn’t go to sleep unless I went through the entire routine, starting with Inigo Montoya and ending with Pepe Le Pew. Talk about exhausting. It turns out he has some great impersonation skills and now entertains me.
Margaret Reyes Dempsey recently posted..Ignore your Child in Public and Earn Major Brownie Points
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It’s painful to start something that becomes a viral hit with your kid. I had the same thing happen with my daughter’s kitty. I must subconsciously want to be on Sesame Street. That’s cute yours turned around and entertains you.
This is funny and heart breaking at the same time. How to get out of Sock Monkey Servitude without crushing your little one’s spirit and imagination.
Hmm…
Perhaps you could place each in a shoe box, with an IV like apparatus and tell her that all three have been stricken with Sock Monkey Pox and are in a comma. They are expected to recover, but will need lots of rest and absolutely no talking for at least a week.
Whether they all survive or not is up to you.
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Perfect! I will create a monkey hospital and make some IVs out of straws. They are unable to speak…doctor’s orders.
Twitter: JessicaSieghart
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I was going to suggest that you at least start with a See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil concept. Removing one sense from each sock monkey had to surely affect the things they can do, right? My other suggestion was to invent a game called “Put A Sock In It” and see which sock monkey can remain quiet the longest
If all fails, I say just wing it. it doesn’t last forever and then they turn into teenagers. 
Jessica Sieghart recently posted..Oh- Danny Boy
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Ha ha. That’s great except she gave one smell by taping on a nose and one just got paper hair today when she discovered she was bald.
I suppose this is what I have to look forward to. You gotta love it, though. One of these days you’ll remember sock monkeys with a relieved sort of fondness; fond because it marked such an amazing and fun time in your daughter’s life when all that it took to keep her happy was a game of Three Blind Mice and she still thought you were the coolest, and relieved because –while sock monkeys are nice– if you never see another one as long as you live…
Delena
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I think it is SOOO sweet and fun that you give those monkeys voices and play them every night. I know you are an awesome mother! I used to have LOTS of stuffed animals that I would put all around me at night so that no monster could touch my head, sides or feet before first touching the stuffed animals. They ARE important, aren’t they? I’d sacrificed them to the monsters, but I knew they’d sacrifice themselves for me if they had a choice in the matter. They loved me, right?
Twitter: findingthehumor
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I did the same thing. They were lined against the scary edge of the bed. What were we thinking? We would hear them scream and wake up?
Melinda, this post is hilarious! I was really vibing with the imagination your daughter shows. I mean, she totally did a jujitsu move with the “Three Blind Mice”. The phone game brought back mischievous memories. I can understand your angst but, suddenly, I shot past the commiserative orbit of Venus (don’t judge me for being an introverted empath with intuition).
When I hit the Martian atmosphere, my head exploded into a million Allan Douglas-like solutions. And the conclusion was clear: you just need more ideas!! (Mwhahahahaha)
So, you could join us over on the CCC and submit ten of Little One’s favorite words. Explain that the random stories are intended to be read by a pre-schooler. If you get your list to show up on Thursday, you’re going to have nearly three dozen stories for the week-end!
If you just need more games, you could deputize your daughter and the monkeys and send them on “impossible missions.” Preferably, one that ends in ice cream.
I could go on all day. But you just call my office between 14 and elebenty o-clock and I’ll hook you up with more ideas!
Cheers,
Mitch
Mitchell Allen recently posted..The Mama and the Messenger
You spelled it wrong. It’s elevendy o’clock. Cosby did a great routine on elevendy. Elevendy is a good number to get on the dice out behind the bar against the wall by the tree. When I roll elevendy I scoop up all the money !
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She got me good with the “Three Blind Mice” knowing I was desperate for any change. I’ve been using the same material for a month now. Not that a five year old cares because she laughs like it is new, it is just like being stuck in a role like Annie and not wanting to sing “Tomorrow” for the one millionth time. I have to make time to head over there. Love your office hours. Allan Douglas solutions..ha ha…does he have a wiki yet for that?
Twitter: tellingdad
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Loved the post and you’re such and awesome mom! Jim Henson could only handle the longevity of the Muppets because the task came with millions of dollars. I suppose, once you lock into the joy she’s experiencing, it’s motivating enough. But I can totally see how you’d need a break.
One idea for that. How about the “Quiet Game”? Sure, the monkeys are a shoo-in for victory but you’ll enjoy some incredible mind-healing silence while your daughter tries to hold out.
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The quiet game ends after 30 seconds which is as long as she can make it without talking..
I would totally have a different attitude if I was getting paid a million dollars and had a dressing room complete with the following demands for my one hour break as stated in my contract: a bowl of peanut M&Ms that haven’t been rummaged through by a kid with dirty hands, freshly made coffee from a coffee cup without a chip or a crack in it, a comfy napping couch that is both crumb and toy-free, and sound proof padding so I can’t hear “Be sock monkey again…one more time.” OK forget the million I would do it just for the one hour dressing room break.
Twitter: johngarrettx
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Those monkeys…staring deep into my soul. Taunting me with their mischievous grins.
I had a stuffed pig back in the day. We played a game of hide-and-seek one lazy afternoon. I hid it in the basement behind the washer and went away to count to 20, as if I really didn’t know where it was.
Unfortunately for the pig, something distracted me and I actually “grew up” another stage in the meantime, forgetting all about this d@#$ pig! Ooops.
I think we found it a year later. My mom was upset (no doubt over the exorbitant cost of a plush pig), but I remember thinking “Geez Mom, it’s just a stuffed animal. Geez.”
Don’t let this happen to the monkeys! Especially “prison-monkey” on the right. I don’t think he wants to go back in…
Anyway another hilarious story, thanks for cracking me up (again)!
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Ha ha that is funny you forgot about it….and that you were pretending to not know where it is.
Twitter: JessicaSieghart
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After reading this again and all the amazing comments, now I want a sock monkey.
Jessica Sieghart recently posted..The New- Hip Thing
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It’s in the mail. Just kidding!
How does something like “eeny meeny miny mo” get passed down from one generation to the next? I never taught it to any of our kids, yet they all learned it somehow. I’ve asked other parents about this and they all say the same thing. Could it be part of our biological wiring?
Another excellent post, Melinda. You’re just paying the price for being a great mom.
Charles Gulotta recently posted..Role Models Part 3
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I wonder the same thing. Same goes for the hand clapping game girls do that starts off “Miss Mary Mac Mac Mac…all dressed in black black black…” It is a mystery.
Hi Melinda,
The first time I played with my very young nieces, they were so excited that every time they come to visit, they always wanted me to play with them by being the “Cookie Monster”. I never knew what made me do that kind of thing, but when they saw me munching on a cookie with a Cookie Monster cap on my head, they said, “Look, it’s the Cookie Monster!” – so I decided to chase them while munching on a few cookies, then making them eat some when I catch them. It’s quite tiring in the end, if you ask me, and whenever they’re here I’m sure they would like me to play with them as the Cookie Monster. I’m so glad they’ve outgrown it now.
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You can relate. It is the repeating the same thing over and over and over again that is the worst. Why something is funny the 1000th time is beyond me.
Yeah, I sometimes wish I never wore that Cookie Monster cap when they visited. But one of the good part is when they grow up and reminisce those fun times of theirs with me, I get to forget how tired I was back then from chasing them and I am happy for the mere fact they will remember me for that. Strange as it may be, I sure would miss them as toddlers.
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Hi Melinda
Sorry but I’m with your daughter…..I love the sock monkeys x 3
I would like the purple one please 
You are such a great Mum, Melinda. And so patient playing endless games all day long. I’m sure all of your children will have brilliant memories to recount when they are all grown up.
As always, leave here with a smile of my face. Thanks
Patricia Perth Australia
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I’m finding so many homes for the monkeys..this is great! ha ha
See, if I were you, I would have passed on the duties to my other children as “chores” after a month.
Of the three choices, I would go for the MonkeyNapping. And for personal giggles, I would stage a ransom note if it wouldn’t scare her.
Or, maybe this is the time where you can introduce the “There are less fortunate children, so why don’t we donate it?” speech.
Sorry to be so late in commenting. I’ve been busy and I’m now trying to catch up on blogs I have missed.
I have to admit I still use eeny meeny miny mo at times to make decisions. Getting older means these decisions get harder than picking out a toy and means I want to be the one to make them less and less.
The game you play with sock monkies are very cute so cute that I can see them getting old very fast, you have my sympathy!
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Does this mean eeny meeny miny mo isn’t going to end??!?
I don’t know how this site came up when I keyworded Hip Pain, but I like your humor site. Thanks for sharing
Twitter: findingthehumor
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OMG Google knows about my hip which is frightening and I have no idea why my sock monkey pain is the same as hip pain.