Shoe shopping fun with my son

Tennis shoes

He needs shoes soon

Is there anything more painful and useless than trying to talk a teenage boy into going shopping with you? Unless, of course, it is to pick up the newest, greatest game on release day.

I gave up a long time ago. He describes what he wants, and I go get it. He isn’t very picky so he never complains about my choices. However, he is a big boy at six feet tall, and shoe shopping requires you actually try on the shoe.

Last year…

I’m dreading the shoe shopping ordeal thanks to last year’s experience.

I announced we were taking a quick trip to the store to get shoes. I tried to sell my idea by claiming we could be back within an hour and would even splurge for a refreshing smoothie.

In a desperate attempt to avoid accompanying me on this venture, he came up with a solution.

Leaning in his doorway, keys in hand, I asked if he was ready to go. “Yep,” he replied while handing me a tracing of his foot. “Get the same thing I have now in white.”

Not in the mood to argue, I painstakingly cut out the foot. This is my artistically-challenged child, so the tracing was a bit off. The shape resembled a potato, so I created toes to make it more realistic-looking.

The paper foot and I headed to the store. This trip had all the excitement of shopping with a cardboard cut-out of my child. The conversation in the car was lacking, but there were no complaints about the music playing.

Trying on shoes

Browsing through the shoe department I was approached by an athletic, young salesman who asked what I was looking for. “My son needs new shoes,” I replied. He grabbed the measuring tool and looked around, assuming my son was wandering around the department somewhere.

I removed the foot from my purse, unfolded it, and lay it on the measuring device. “Do you think that is a size 12 or 12.5? He’s definitely a wide.”

“I want to try on a size 12.5 in this shoe,” I said as I held up the sneaker I had selected.

He looked shocked and confused as he politely advised, “Ma’am, that isn’t going to work.”

“Just let me see if I can fit the foot in it. Humor me.”

He returned with a box of shoes and a strange, amused look on his face. I imagine this was going to make for some great conversation in the break room later.

I proceeded with trying to fit the paper foot in the shoe. As shocking as this may seem, it didn’t work very well. I couldn’t tell if the toes were crumpled at the end. Since the foot couldn’t argue that it didn’t like the blue stripe, I bought them and hoped for the best.

This year

I’m not accepting paper feet in place of a live person again. This year he is going with me, we’re going to have a lovely experience, and he will enjoy it whether he wants to or not.

That is…unless he bribes the girls into molding his foot to make a paper mache version.

I don’t care if it is a masterpiece that is painted and glitter-covered. I refuse to take that to the store!


  1. OMG! That is hilarious. I can’t imagine having a child that doesn’t like to shop πŸ™‚ Good Luck!
    Preppy in Pink recently posted..I know Im nuttyMy Profile

  2. This is very funny! I’ve never known a male person before that doesn’t want to go shopping, even if just to buy his new shoes. I hope you get him to understand that in order to get him new shoes the proper way, he has to be there to fit them.
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  3. Oh stoppit, stoppit. Laughing until it hurts. Sadly, Melinda, I seriously doubt you’ll do any better this year. I am… erm… somewhat older than your son, and I still won’t shop for shoes if I can get out of it. Then again, my feet aren’t going to change size much πŸ™‚
    Chris recently posted..Darling- I miss you – day 2My Profile

  4. Duuude, I can’t fathom anyone not wanting to go shopping even if only to buy shoes! LOL. It would be just my luck if my Little Miss turns out to be like My Man who HATES going shopping for anyone but himself!

    By the way, I left an award for you on my blog today! πŸ™‚

  5. Duuude, I cannot fathom anyone not wanting to go shopping, even if only for shoes! It would be just my luck if my Little Miss turns out to be like My Man who HATES shopping when it’s for anyone but himself. LOL.

    By the way, I left an award for you on my blog today! πŸ™‚

  6. When shopping for a shoe without the foot, I draw with the pen VERTICAL. πŸ™‚ That is the actual size of the foot. πŸ™‚ Of course, adjustments should be made.
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  7. I’m totally going to steal this idea from him. I hate looking for shoes for myself!
    Joey recently posted..Blasters to take championship with just one more win!My Profile

  8. Paper foot cutouts to buy shoes? HAHAHAHAHA! I can only imagine the look on the salesman’s face. What a great story. My son is actually my easiest to shop for. I really don’t like shopping and neither does he. We walk in, grab the first thing he likes and we’re out the door. We shoe shopped for him in 4 minutes this afternoon. My 3 daughters, though? OMG! hours and hours looking, touching, trying on & fighting over who gets what because heaven forbid anybody buys something that remotely even resembles anything the others might have. Thank you so much for the awesome comments and tweets today! I’m adding you to my list πŸ™‚ We could be neighbors-you’d make a great addition here on Hysteria Lane πŸ˜‰
    Jessica Sieghart recently posted..My Career As A Pot Farmer…My Profile

  9. My sides are hurting I am laughing so much. This blog is definitely a must for daily reading amidst all the seriousness of life. Your son just sounds like teen boys the world over. My newphew was the same until he had to go to his formal (I think you call it a prom) and then his older sister took him to get his suit and new shoes. He actually said he enjoyed dressing up for the evening! I was very surprised. If left to his own devices he wouldn’t have shopped so big sister must have been very persuasive. Your household must be a laugh a minute. I’m still laughing thinking about that shop assistant and those shoes πŸ™‚
    Patricia Perth Australia
    Patricia recently posted..Lavender Health-Embracing An Organic LifestyleMy Profile

    • My mother thinks I am just crazy. She called to tell me so after catching up on my articles. I blame the three kids on the way I see the world. ha ha I think he may be more interested when it comes to prom, but that is at least another year away.

  10. Your son and I have a lot in common. I hate shopping too, thank goodness I can get most of what I want online. I’ve dated a few guys that loved shopping. they used to drag me to store, grrr…

    My daughter on the other hand LOVES shopping. So yeah, I go to the store when she needs something.
    HealthyOpal recently posted..Natural Remedies For Nail FungusMy Profile

    • I don’t like to shop at all. When I have to go to the mall I go on a mission to get in and out in record time. My daughter is the opposite so shopping with her is painful. lol

      • LOL, I’m the same way. I’m in and out of whatever store we have to go too.

        My mother on the other hand does not mind taking her time in the store. She’s thrifty though, so not an impulsive spender.

        My daughter is hanging out with her today, and they’re shopping. I’m home cleaning. I decided to tackle my daughter’s room while she’s away. )
        HealthyOpal recently posted..Natural Remedies- Minty fresh anti-fungal foot powderMy Profile

  11. Y’all all up in here laughing at this clever young man. You don’t see us men hootin’ about those dress patterns from McCall’s!
    (I’m showing my age)

    Seriously though, Melinda, you really do find the humor in everyday life, huh?

    This was funny and fun!



  12. Yes, funny post and that was absolutely an awesome bonding with your son. Precious moments like this can be treasured for a lifetime.

  13. That’s funny that he didn’t want to go shopping with you πŸ™‚ Why do you think that is? I love going shopping for new things!

  14. LOL My mom experienced same thing with my brothers. Any of their attire way back when they were still in their teenager years. As they grow older anyway, they become more conscious on what they are wearing. It’s every man’s attitude in choosing their outfit!
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