Yep That’s Me — Finding The Humor

Avoid Ghostly Surprises By Calling Ahead

January 6, 2012 By Melinda 33 Comments

Invaded by ghost ants AGAIN, the exterminator had to return to my house last week. I dreaded the possible awkwardness this would cause due to “the incident” last time.

Two weeks earlier…

Innocently hanging out at my computer working, I was unaware that the bug man had arrived and was working his way around to the back of the house.

Next to me is a sliding glass door that leads to the porch. Despite the lack of view, I opened the shades to enjoy the beautiful day.

Suddenly he appeared at the door. We both jumped and I ran out of the room mortified. Much to my relief, he didn’t knock on the door once he was done and instead left the bill on my door.

Important lessons were learned that day:

Call before you spray a person’s house
Don’t sit by the window wearing this…(see below)

This must have been how I looked. Surprised.

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: Disasters, Just me

Who Needs a Guard Gate Anyway?

December 16, 2011 By Melinda 16 Comments

I’ve been stuck at home all week with a sick 6 year old. Completely out of milk, I made a desperate dash to the store that erroneously included swinging by the Daisy Troop meeting to pick up a fundraiser order. Secretly that was just an excuse to make sure cookie order forms weren’t going home because…well…I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT I tell you.

Turns out I should have just stayed home.

Why?

There were almost casualties

After arriving at the clubhouse in a nearby gated community too early for the meeting, I decided to run to the grocery store first. In my defense it was dark and I’d completely forgotten about the guard gate. Slamming on my breaks as hard as I could, I knew it wasn’t going to stop in time and I was going to crash right into it. Visions of previous cars I’ve owned flashed before my eyes.

Braced for impact, I couldn’t believe the gate lifted out of the way at the very last possible millisecond. It still doesn’t seem possible and can only be courtesy of a Festivus Miracle.

Twenty minutes later I returned for the meeting and was nervous about checking in at the guard house. “What if he recognizes me as the nut that had just zoomed by earlier?”

I contemplated changing my name and wearing my shades, but he said nothing which just proves they will let any maniac in.

Lucky Winner

My plan was to grab my order and quickly return home before my frozen foods thaw.

Sneaking into the meeting, I made my way over to where the girls were busily watering 9 tiny potted plants. I had arrived just in time for the drawing determining which girl would take these home for 2 weeks and care for them. Can you guess who the lucky winner was?

This picture is less about showing you what I'm in charge of and more about remembering what they looked like in case I need to replace them.

“Oh…I kill plastic plants. Are you sure?” I nervously mentioned as I accepted this honor. The troop leader laughed and asked if they should redraw a name.

“No no that’s OK. I’ll set the alarm on my iPhone to remember.”

After going over some camping paperwork, the discussion turned to cookies. It began with my excitedly asking, “When do cookie order forms go out?” and ended with me being “Cookie Mom”. Only after receiving this title did I learn about the four weekends of booth duty. I seriously don’t know what happened…I was in a volunteer-spirit-induced stupor and said “I’ll do it.” It came spilling out before I had time to rethink that commitment. I mean think.

With melting groceries waiting in my car, I waited 10 more minutes while the girls made my daughter get well cards.

What I got:

Responsibility for the plants, 10 sticky get well cards covered in glitter glue, the title of “Cookie Mom”, and melting groceries.

What I didn’t get?

The two things I went out for of course. The fundraiser order wasn’t at the meeting and the milk had a giant leak by the time it arrived at the refrigerator.

Ever wished you’d just stayed home because nothing went right?

Filed Under: Yep That's Me

Community Network Meme 2011

December 11, 2011 By Melinda 43 Comments

community network meme

I don’t usually do memes because I can’t even pronounce the word correctly. This leads to the fear that someone will ask me what I’m doing today. Rather than saying it correctly, I mumble “mrrmmsm” followed by panicked pointing while shouting “Hey there’s a cute puppy!” to distract them because that works every time.

I barely knew what it was when I participated in my first meme last year. It was like I said “Yea sure I’ll go deep sea diving. I know what I’m doing because I own a figurine of a dolphin.”

It turned out to be one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve had as a blogger because I met some great writers, so I’m really looking forward to blog hopping today.

I present you with the 2nd installment of Tom Baker’s Community Network Meme 2011 where I have to answer twenty questions, most of which came from Cherlyn Cochrane of Over A Cup of Coffee who I just adore. Enjoy.

As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?
Everyday life. Stuff seems to just happen to me. I’m a Murphy’s Law test dummy.

Turns out it also comes in handy for forcing good behavior. More than once I’ve avoided situations by shrieking, “Don’t make me blog about this!”
If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?
Greg from Telling Dad. We both have 3 kids almost the same age and have similar experiences. I could practically plagiarize his whole blog and it would be relevant…except the muscles part…oh and the owning a fire truck…and the fact that he’s more glamorous. I think it’s the hat. It’s hard to compete with that professional-model-ish pout that oozes coolness.
If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?
“Drop it Like It’s Hot” for many reasons.
- Because I drop so many things including myself.
- Because I like to torture my children dancing to that song.
- Who doesn’t want Snoop Dogg doing their theme song?
When I first looked at the above shot of Snoop Dog, I thought, “Wow! He has a huge tongue! And has been eating a purple popsicle!” A few minutes later I realized “Ohhhhh it’s his chin and beard.” Anyone else see it that way?

This explains why I can’t see the image in those 3D eye puzzles that you have to stare at a dot in the middle.
What is your writing process for a post?
After realizing no one is going to invent a brain-to-wordpress plugin that you can export stories directly without the need of a USB connection (cough cough…Andy), I just sit and rattle off what’s on my mind. Then I let it sit for a few hours before rewriting most of it. The first pass just gets my mind working like the first pot of coffee.
Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot – what would it be?
That’s easy. A sock monkey.

He already takes over a big portion of my life entertaining my six year old so he might as well have a job. Right?

He accompanied my daughter and me to The Muppet movie last week.
Do you feel you express your “true self” on your blog?
Absolutely. It is 98% me with 10% embellishment on occasion to make me look cool. To distract you from the math…here is a cute puppy. ——————->
What is your biggest online pet-peeve?
Just filtering out spam.

Apparently my post about botching the Thanksgiving turkey (“Why Cooking A Turkey is Like Being in a Horror Film…or at an OB-GYN office“) helped numerous people on their school research projects, which leaves me confused at what they could be writing about. I’m going to assume they are going to “school” in their pajamas.
If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?
I would live where everyone played Call of Duty as their job under a palm tree at the beach, and robots did all the work. There would also be bottomless coffee pots and trees that drop dark chocolate bars (the good kind).

Always in need of a few more hours in the day, I’m going to insist on 30hr days on my planet so I have time to dust. Oh I need more sleep too, so let’s make it 35hr days. Wait robots are doing all the work. Agh! This is too many decisions for me. I’m just going to move to Kelley’s Breakroom because she always has cool stuff there.
You’re having a bad day, you’re upset, you’re angry, or you’re sad – what is your go-to comfort?
My kids are my comfort. They have the ability to make worries melt away in laughter. Reading my favorite humor blogs for a chuckle or an hour of xbox will also cure anything.
What is your favorite inspirational quote?

“Have a sense of humor about life – you will need it. And be courteous.”
– Peter Jennings

I think that sums up everything you need to know about life. The world would be a better place if people followed this simple advice.
If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?
I would want Jennifer Aniston to play me because she plays a good bumbling klutz and makes it look cute. If you read my blog then you know Brad Pitt would HAVE to be the leading man…but that could cause some problems with those two so I will leave out a leading man.

My best friends would be played by Sandra Bullock, Kristen Wig and Taylor Lautner (Yes he’s eye candy! It’s my movie!).

I would also like Kermit the Frog though I have no idea who he is suppose to be. Maybe my imaginary friend.

Glen Close is so good at playing evil roles, she would have to be my rival.

Don’t We Look Fabulous
Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?
No, but I imagine a few political careers will. Oh yea that is every year. Wait a second! Why would it be ending in 2012? Is there something I don’t know about? I get all my news from Bikini Bottom and don’t recall there being a topic on this. Should I be hording essentials like coffee, Sun Chips, and Spanx?
If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
I would want super charged energy to work out more. I now realize just owning a yoga DVD doesn’t do anything. I’m slowly getting there since my 6 year old and I are doing a daily fitness challenge together and walking to the mailbox doesn’t count.
What is your favorite season and why?
Summer because I’m a warm weather person that doesn’t like when the temperature drops below 70. Bundling up in layers of clothes makes me feel stiff, uncomfortable, and unproductive.

Summer brings with it a kick-your-shoes-off, laid-back attitude. My solution for staying in a summer frame-of-mind all year round? Wearing flip flops.
You’ve been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?
Embrace it! Then run out immediately to purchase a cape.

(I’m team Jacob…so I would prefer to be a werewolf thank you.)
Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?
No. There are many I would love to hang out with. I would skip the mascara because I would be laughing too hard over lunch. Who am I kidding? I don’t even own mascara.

There are so many similarities between a few of us that I swear we’re related.
What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?
Hmm…favorite? It is just a necessity and I can’t confirm that I could ID it in a lineup. I didn’t know there was going to be a test like this or I would have purchased something exciting to write about.

Itchy is not sexy. That’s my motto and all I can share about this subject. There’s nothing to see here…please move along.
Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?
No. I’m a germaphobe that way.
What is your favorite word and explain why?
AWESOME. Who doesn’t love anything awesome? Everyone should try to put some awesome in their life on a daily basis.
2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you’d like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?
Write more. I’ve been extremely overwhelmed with too much to do. I would like to learn to say “no” more often and focus on the things I truly love rather than spreading myself thin. I’m changing my phone number.

You are still here? Now go meet some new people:

2011 Community Network Meme Participation List

Betwixt And Between
Insignificant At Best
Kay At The Keyboard
Words Fall From My Eyes
Courage To Change
Jackie Paulson ~Writer
I Shall Be A Toad
Over A Cup Of Coffee
Morpho Designs
Broken Sparkles
Curiosity Killed The KAT
Life Of Carbon
Walking The Labyrinth
Conch Saladesque
Blue Jellybeans
Disjointed Rhymings
The Real Sharon’s Blog
How Can I Complain?
Morning Erection <-- Thanks so much Tom!!!!!!!!!
2tha9s

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: community network meme, Just me

String Theory, Albert Einstein, and My Floor

December 6, 2011 By Melinda 20 Comments

Am I the only one that thought this company was ScanDisk?

SanDisk It’s SAN not SCAN. I have no less than 15 of these things floating around in various electronics, and I would have bet money on the name…and lost. Which explains why I don’t gamble and why I began to question all that I thought I knew about the world around me.

I have more than you.

Strange things are happening at my house, and my dusty, science thinking-cap (if you can call it that) was reinstated in order to sleuth out an explanation.

Usually having more of something is a good thing not to mention bragging rights. This is not the case.

I have a surplus of gravity at my house.

In a world full of fascinating scientific-breakthroughs, I never imagined I would find myself in the middle of a NOVA episode, and I’m not sure what to wear. Things fall to the floor way above the national average on a daily basis in a Bermuda Triangle type phenomenon. No boring statistical charts are necessary to uncover the facts.

Observances of this physical phenomena

On any given day you can find 4-10 pens/pencils laying on the floor around the house. I’ve never been to anyone else’s home and seen a pen on the floor, so simple logic dictates that something different is happening here.

People aren’t just walking through the house and dropping a pen without noticing. Right?

This is clearly closely-related to string theory, the persistent clinging of strings to the floor, sweaters and the dog.

The Stronger pull of gravity explains many things:

Why lying on my side on the floor innocently playing Barbies with little one looks more like a nap. I simply cannot fight gravity that close to the epicenter of strength.

Why I’m so sore from my workout yesterday and can barely lift my legs. Laughing? Well you try doing squats with extra gravity. It’s like adding 15lb weights in your hands.

Towels that ever so slightly overhang the shelf are pulled to the bottom of the linen closet in mass quantities.

I’m beginning to understand what Sheldon is talking about in “Big Bang Theory“.

Whiter Towels

F = G(mass1*mass2)/D squared.
OK everyone get out your Physics textbooks and turn to page 55 please.
Note: There is no college credit available for reading this article.

Oh the irony that his hair defies the laws of gravity.

Einstein’s theory of relativity predicted that objects with great mass deform space around them, causing light to deflect into them.

This explains why the bathroom’s linen closet is a mess (deformed space) and why my towels are looking brighter (light deflected into them).

Suddenly it all makes sense.

Got extra gravity?

Filed Under: sometimes I think I am a scientist, Yep That's Me Tagged With: Just me, sometimes I think I am a scientist

Booking A Free Workout

November 18, 2011 By Melinda 25 Comments

Ouch! Lowering myself into the desk chair is painful. Two days into recovery from the workout at the new gym, I’m happy to report it’s not only working…it’s FREE!

Free Workouts

You probably have one, too, just down the street and didn’t even realize it. I took the one hour squat class and am now limited to an upright position in order to avoid using the Quads and Gluts that are currently on fire. This means if something falls on the floor, I either leave it or endure teasing when I ask for assistance from people closer to the ground.

If you’re wondering, “Where is this free gym?” it is located in the library of your local elementary school. Go shelve books for an hour.

Due to the misleading name, I erroneously chose the advanced class called “Easy Reader”. The limited height of the shelves in this section coupled with the size of its readers results in 90% of the books being selected from the bottom shelf.

Ten minutes into shelving I was feelin’ the burn. This lead to desperate attempts to avoid the constant squatting by:

Sitting on the floor. This was only good for 2 books at a time and rendered useless.
Attempting a weird adaptation of the yoga Warrior pose to avoid bending more than one leg at a time while risking teetering off balance.

Here’s what it looks like doing Library Yoga:

library yoga

Awkward.

The lessons learned:

Go for the non-fiction. Despite the intimidation of finding 735.445 on the shelve, it is easier in the long run.
Don’t mess with the librarian. She’s in great shape.

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: workouts

How to Fall Out of a Car Gracefully

November 2, 2011 By Melinda 31 Comments

A Guide on Playing Off Embarrassing Moments in Life

Soooooo…a few weeks back I got the call that my car was ready at the shop. Excitedly I zipped over to my favorite gas station, the one with the fast pumps, to put gas back in the rental car.

Used to stepping DOWN from my SUV, I believe it was the awkwardness of the lower vehicle combined with my dangerous flip flops that caused the following scenario to occur.

Getting out to pump gas

arrive at gas station

My flip-flop gets caught and I tumble out of the car

It was in slow motion to make sure all saw...

Laying flat on the ground between the pump and my car.

laying by the gas pump

If you ever find yourself in this predicament, this is the point where you attempt to look like you were checking a leak under your car and are lying on the ground completely on purpose.

Then stand up, check for bloody knees, and proceed to pump gas as if that did not just happen. It’s all in the execution of looking purposeful.

A quick glance around made me think I had actually gotten away with it. I was on the end pump, and no one seemed to be paying attention. I began pumping gas and lowered my sunglasses onto my face like no one would recognize me. My knees were burning as they were scraped and a giant bruise was already blackening on my palm where I caught myself.

Then I heard it…

“Are you OK?”

Turning to look behind me, I see a pleasant looking gentleman sitting in his car where he had been putting air in his tires.

I turned and did a wave while saying, “I’m fine thanks!”

SHOOT! Well I was until I realized someone had seen it.

CREDIT FOR MY STICK FIGURENESS: I snagged one of my 6 year old’s drawings of me after giving up on her ever drawing the figure I requested for this article. My artist on staff is unreliable, especially when sitting next to a pumpkin full of candy.

Ever fallen out of your car?

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: Disasters, Just me, Sometimes I end up in places I don't belong

Driver Error or Plain Bad Luck?

October 18, 2011 By Melinda 19 Comments

car tow Is there anything more frustrating than car troubles?

This morning I bid my car farewell as it began its short journey to the dealership for repair. It was my first experience having a car towed. Other than the good-looking tow truck driver, it wasn’t as exciting as I imagined.

Last night the girls and I piled in the car to attend my son’s orchestra concert, and when I turned the key I got a frying electronic sound, a spark, and no engine coming on. Two more attempts produced the same results.

These things only happen:

After car places are closed for the night.
When I have a packed schedule of places to be.

I Need A Rental Car

Patiently waiting in line, turns out I was behind the area manager for Starbucks. After mentioning my addiction to that place, I informed him that I own at least 2 chairs at my local shop.

Taking pity on me (I guess because of my addiction issue), the Enterprise rental manager gave me a free upgrade to an SUV. Sweet! Happy to have access to a car again, I headed off to run a few errands.

Noob Driver Alert

Immediately I noticed the engine was revving up to 6 RPM before struggling to shift to the next gear. Since I wasn’t driving a race car, I thought that was kind of odd and considered turning around. Instead I went to the grocery store and took the dog to the groomers.

An hour later I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with the transmission, so I returned to the rental office.

“I think something is wrong with the car,” I stated while handing back the keys.

With all the gentleness of a Kindergarten teacher, he replied “You might be driving it wrong.”

“Really?” How could I be driving it wrong? I have over 25 years of driving experience under my belt.

At his request, I got in the car and put it in drive.

“You are in manual mode.”

“What? Manual?”

I learned to drive using a stick shift and drove one for about 10 years. Arriving at the DMV as a teen, I found the instructor bewildered because no one ever shows up in a manual for their license test. Needless to say I only had to drive half the course before he stamped “PASS” on my file.

manual automatic drive Turns out some new cars have a manual mode. I was in first gear…all morning long…about 25 miles worth of errands. Nicccceeeee. I felt sooooo stupid.

See the +/- on the left. That’s the manual section.

This is a public service announcement. If this saves one experienced driver from feeling like they are 16 again, my job is done.

I’m trying to understand when you would want to be in manual mode unless you live in the Rocky Mountain area.

Grabbing my shades, I’m off to test out manual mode and rev up the engine in my cool sports car. Can’t you just see this soccer mom car peeling away at a light?
kia suv

P.S. I’m taking applications for a best friend who is also a mechanic. This is due to the fact that dealership called to tell me my car arrived safely…and started right up.

Am I the only one that didn’t know about this?

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: Disasters, Just me, technology

Vacuuming May Cause Concussions

September 11, 2011 By Melinda 34 Comments

Nursing a headache thanks to Saturday’s “incident”, I discovered housework can be hazardous to the noggin.

It all started out with a trip to pick up Rosie the Roomba vacuum cleaner. Purchased with the help of birthday money and a coupon, I left Bed, Bath & Beyond elated and couldn’t get home fast enough.

Ripping open the box, Rosie made her grand entrance.

For hours we watched her do her magic. It was fascinating. I’m sure it will be a time-saver after the initial thrill wears off.
roomba watching

To ensure maximum cleaning, I ran around excitely picking up large objects off the floor. In the laundry room was a top to a shaving cream container…I don’t understand that either…so I leaned down to pick it up and…

WARNING: Actions may be stupider than they appear.

WACK!!! I slammed my head into the doorway. Like super hard to where I thought I may have given myself a concussion.

Mom Down! Mom Down!

I didn’t cry in pain during childbirth, but this brought tears. After screaming out in pain, my son called out from his room to hold it down while he’s on the Xbox mic.

Who knew vacuuming could be dangerous…even if you aren’t the one doing the work.

The good news is I believe it jarred awake a few brain cells because all of the sudden I can do Geometry again.

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: birthdays, cleaning

My Bucket List and Life With Rosie

August 30, 2011 By Melinda 17 Comments

Rosie and I relaxing since the floor is clean.
Good times.

A month ago I watched the movie The Bucket List. Not having a clue as to what I want to accomplish in life, I still felt a burning urge to create one.

Jumping right on that task four weeks later, I present:

My Bucket List:

Own the Jetson’s Rosie the Robot.
Go to Paris again – my favorite city.
See my kids graduate from college.
See my kids happily married with kids.
Put the sheet on the bed the correct direction the first time.
Visit the pyramids.
Get fired by Trump in the board room.
See my bathroom counter toothpaste-goo-free for more than 1 hour.
Have a good hair day.
Find the scissors in the drawer where they belong.
Win something. Anything! I’m not picky. The free toothbrush in the dentist goodie bag doesn’t count.
Getting the prime parking space at the mall in front of Barnes & Noble.
Have lunch with Larry David, Wanda Sykes, Will Ferrell and Jerry Seinfeld.
Becoming Mayor of Walmart.
See the night sky with all the stars like I remember seeing as a kid before giant city lights.

And last but not least…

Know someone with a fire truck.

OH YEAH! I get to cross off the last goal with minimal effort thanks to Telling Dad and his purchase of a fire truck! Thanks Greg!

Waiting for Rosie

For 30+ years I’ve been impatiently awaiting the Jetson-like future where kids fly to school in a personal saucer and dinner magically appears from a hole in the wall. The drive-thru window is as close as it gets.

No Rosie? Well the next best thing is iRobot.

Vacuum cleaners have a life expectancy of six months in my house due to:

The shedding dog that is living forever just to spite me.

Don't be fooled. This IS his idea of being active - sitting upright. Don't strain yourself.

Constant small child disasters

Toddler Richter scale: 10 Catastrophic.
Little one (then 2) dumped the entire contents of her room onto the floor in fifteen minutes while I clueslessly cooked dinner just 10 feet away.

I’m certain that investing in a vacuum worth more than $50 is the answer.

My only concern is Rosie’s being able to move around the stuff on the floor.

roomba obstacles

Navigating the Sea of Crap, Rosie’s durability and maneuverability will be tested at Olympian levels.

Warned to allow three hours for sitting and watching it in amazement, I look forward to Rosie joining our family. By the looks of her face, I’m guessing she feels the same.

Happy Rosie...I think.

What Am I Missing on the List?

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: cleaning, Disasters, Just me, technology

Next Thing I Knew A Ninja Was in my Cart

August 16, 2011 By Melinda 19 Comments

superhero Klout I’ve been busy running around fighting crime (who spilled the chips on the floor?) and performing amazing stunts like leaping over Lego towers in a single bound, or at least it seems so according to Klout’s misleading indication that I’m influential about superheros. This is both baffling and AWESOME. I’ll take it since that is about as close to cool as I will ever get.

Superheros like to surprise people with their grand entrance.

If only they knew about my genuine, official faux Wonder Woman swimsuit it would be worth +10 Klout at least. It pays to ooh and ahh over someone’s Facebook pictures. A friend had a picture of the swimsuit, and I went nuts over it. A few weeks later this amazing Justice League invitation was delivered by FEDEX. After giddily giggling like a small child finding a pony at the front door, I hid it away for the right moment of disclosure.

When I was in second grade I would bike to my friend Margot’s house to play super heros. She was always Wonder Woman and never gave me a turn. I bet Margot doesn’t have the real deal outfit. HA! I win…36 years later.

Please don't touch it! It has the ultimate power of embarrassment and must be handled with extreme caution.

Finally the perfect day arrived, I excitedly prepared to present my alter ego. After squeezing and tucking myself into the less than flattering ensemble and being thankful that this didn’t have to take place in a cramped phone booth, I realized that the fantasy isn’t always the reality.

I encircled myself in a towel before tracking down the kids. First I ran into little one. After a quick glance, she squealed in delight. “Go show Sissy!”

She bound ahead of me and burst into the teen’s room announcing “Mom’s a superhero!! Look!” My thirteen year old slowly, uninterestedly looked up from her phone. Her “What?” look quickly turned into a speechless, shocked and horrified expression rolled into one. Priceless!

Leaning in the doorway I nonchalantly asked, “Want to go to the pool? I’m ready to go as soon as I can find where I parked the invisible plane.”

“OMG! Are you REALLY wearing that?!” she asked. Interpreted that meant “I can’t believe you would wear that but it is sort of cool in a really horrible, embarrassing way.”

“Are you kidding? I don’t have the headband and bracelets yet. I can’t be seen like this!”

Superheros must have a sidekick.

walmart trap I have a ninja that makes me smoothies every day, and that’s a perk of being a superhero. Batman had Robin, and now I have my Ninja.

Thanks to the $5 gift card inviting me to come see the new and improved Walmart, I entered with my school supply shopping list and two girls in tow. Obviously the new layout was designed by the same people that create the maze in casinos that get you trapped in there for hours without being able to find an exit. School supplies were scattered around the store in a way that made you feel like you were hunting down treasure. “Found the paper!” one child would scream from the towel isle.

ninja This is how I ended up in the shiny new appliance section obviously brainwashed into thinking I couldn’t live without a new blender. My daughter pointed at the higher end model with the cool name as she recited the infomercial word-for-word while animatedly demonstrating the advantages of three blades and sturdy construction. After assuring me she wasn’t getting a commission, the next thing I knew I had a Ninja in my cart.

Who doesn’t want to “Rule the Kitchen”? It’s a small price to pay for a new superpower.

Superheros belong in cartoons

superhero desk When I saw the picture “The Horror of the Corridor” (by John of Hypertransitory) I knew I had to have it. This is exactly how I feel when the kids are chasing me asking 15 questions at the same time, so I fondly refer to it as “Escape From The Kitchen”.

Every superhero needs to be in cartoon form above the headquarters of operations.

Oh I just heard the oven beep which could be the Justice League telling me I have a new mission.

Up up…and AWWAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!

Filed Under: Yep That's Me Tagged With: clothes, Just me, superheros, what horrified my kids